Maternity Clothes Monopoly

I'm not really a dress-wearing gal. But trying to squeeze into a pair of regular pants or shorts right now is a laugh, especially after eating (which takes up most of my existence). I've heard of the belly band (a thick, waste-sized hair band that's supposed to allow you to unbutton your pants and save you from purchasing maternity pants for a few more months), but I also hear it's annoying to have to adjust and can be somewhat uncomfortable. I've heard of using a real hair tie to fasten the button loop to the button so, again, you can leave your pants unbuttoned. But both of these are just temporary solutions, and in my opinion no replacement for the comfort of actual maternity pants.

At the risk of sounding like a sponsor for this genre of pant, maternity shorts/pants are some of the most comfortable items of clothing I've ever worn in my life. Seriously, even if I wasn't pregnant, I might consider wearing them for special occasions (say, Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner). They're like fashionable sweats, pulling on and off easily and expanding when you've got an extra gut to deal with, except it's okay to wear these pants in public.

The only main issue I have with maternity pants (and it's a huge issue) is the price. I mean, is it my fault pregnancy demands that my entire front side grow to the size of a watermelon? Okay, I know pregnancy for me was a choice, one I'd choose again in a heartbeat if I had to, but come ON. It feels more like a strange form of punishment, forcing a pregnant woman to pay upwards of $40 on average for a pair of comfortable pants. It's like retail stores have become backward educators as they snarl, "We will teach you to bear the future generation! Now sign over your soul and enjoy getting huge. By the way, no returns, refunds or exchanges. You might stretch them out the first time you wear them."*

Okay, so that last part is a bit of an exaggeration (I'm sure the pants are returnable), but the cost is not. It's a good thing so many of my friends have had babies before me so I've been handed down some amazing clothes. The pants and shorts are a different matter, though, and my frame still requires that I spend about $120 (or more) throughout my pregnancy on new pants to be truly comfortable. It's either that, or wear dresses all the time. Did I mention I'm not really a dress-wearing gal?

So I hand over my credit card, feeling guilty as I explain to Jamie (my husband) that it's not my fault I've spent our entire life savings on (uber comfortable and pretty cute) clown pants, to which he always responds with, "Of course it's not your fault. But we will be joining the circus to make continued use out of those pants once the baby is born. No sense wasting the investment." He's so smart.

*For anyone interested in a great deal, I was able to find some $15 shorts and pants at Burlington Coat Factory. And here's a HUGE thanks to my mom who took me to purchase the first installment of new clothes.

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