How many parents have heard these
words right after telling someone you were going to have a baby?
“Congratulations! Get ready to never
sleep.”
“Congratulations! Live it up now
while you can.”
“Congratulations! So how well do you
handle exhaustion?”
What cracks me up the most is how all
those negative comments are often followed with the standard, “But it’s worth
it.” As if ending the conversation with those four little words makes the previous
stressful images of a sleep-deprived non-life just fly out the window.
My request, my plea to anyone who
has experience as a parent is to start conversations with those encouraging
words. It would certainly give parents like me, soon-to-be first time moms (or
dads) who have no clue what they’re up for, a little more confidence and trust
that we’re in an okay place, that it is all going to be worth it and that those
words aren’t just throw-aways that are placed into the conversation because “it’s
something I should say, now that she’s peed her pants out of fear.”
When speaking to
a first-time mom or dad, if you have experience in this area, be honest. But
don’t freak us out first, thinking that your sincere “It’s all worth it”
comment will be heard and remembered over and above the previous “You’re in for
it now” forebodings.
Don’t sugar coat. But please, I beg
you, tell us about the beauty of parenthood first, how we’re capable, how our
bodies can handle it, how God is always there to help, how you love us and are
there to help us, too, before weighing us down with the other side of reality –
that it IS going to be hard, that we’ll want to cry (or even quit), that we’ll
lose our tempers, that sleep as we know it will change. You’re not the first to
tell us – we’ve been told that since day one. What we need to hear, and what isn’t
really emphasized (in my opinion), are the positive aspects of the daily
sacrifice. You parents have such a great opportunity to build us up and
encourage us newbies, and that encouragement will directly affect our outlook
on parenthood and, consequently, our children’s lives. What a gift you have!
It’s so easy to knock someone off a
chair, and it’s much harder to pull someone up after weighing them down with the
struggles they’ll face. So why not pull up a light, willing heart that is still
eager for the experience? We’ll be so much more confident knowing we will not
only survive, but THRIVE.
Then ease us into the hardships we’ll
face. If you’ve already assured us that parenthood is worth it, we will be better
equipped to face the challenges that teach us what sacrifice really means.
This newbie thanks you in advance, from the bottom of my heart. :)
